& Until We Bleed- Lykke Li

I'm naked
I'm numb 
I'm stupid 
I'm staying
And if Cupid's got a gun, then he's shootin'

Lights black; heads bang
You're my drug
We live it
You're drunk, you need it
Real love, I'll give it
So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

You wasted your times
On my heart
You've burned
And if bridges gotta fall, then you'll fall, too

Doors slam
Lights black
You're gone
Come back
Stay gone
Stay clean
I need you to need me
So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

Now we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed

I've been thinking about a conversation I had with a friend earlier today, and it's really been bothering me.

We've been friends for a while now, about six years.

She reminded me of something that I hadn't even thought about probably since it happened, and it made me sad to think that I cannot possibly remember each detail or story or moment or memory in my life, even thus far (only a mere 17 years)

And even with cameras and the amazing technology we have, it is nearly impossible to capture each emotion and what had just happened, and the true and natural anticipation of what will happen next.

Plus when I turn 30 and look at a picture of me with my friends when I was 17, my brain will have matured and developed and neurons will have pruned themselves and certain aspects of my thinking will be drastically different, meaning when I remember that moment by an image filled with faces and colours my brain will process the photo in a completely different context.

I know this is life, and this is what makes it so bittersweet- but couldn't there be some way, and maybe it is just writing down everything that happens- but something to put you right back where you were, remembering each moment. 

Like the smallest stuff, that might just change you a little- but means a lot.

I suppose this is why things such a blogs have always intrigued me.

People attempt to commercialize technology to make you process your memories all the same way.

But I'm going to find my own way.

And when we're 90 years old and meet on the street, I'll be able to tell you all of my most vivid memories, and you will be stuck with an old picture- the colours turned yellow and the smiles faded.

Now it's just figuring it all out that's the issue.